The constant stress of being a hypochondriac

The stress of being a hypochondriac is one that effects me everyday, and is something to not be taken lightly. Now the general knowledge of hypochondria is that you exaggerate every little symptom and think you are dying or have the worst diagnostic. But for me, it is a lot more tedious and stressful than this.

What is not full knowledge is that you actually imagine symptoms – or your actual perception changes and makes it look a lot worse than it is. And once you’ve noticed it and can’t get it out your head, there will start to be a tingling sensation in the area because you cannot get it out of your head.

Then imagine what it is like when there actually is something wrong with me, I can’t stop inspecting it, looking at it, seeing what has changed. It is a never ending process. When there isn’t something wrong with me and I notice the tiniest of pin prick marks I will do a full body check and I will look until I find something. Then I’ll google. Then I will spiral.

It is honestly one of the hardest things to live with day to day, I even get to the point where I wonder if I am an actual hypochondriac or if I’m using it as a front for my problems. Then I talk to my mum and show her and she says that I’m absolutely fine and there is nothing going on.

But then the stress actually causes real problems – I suffer from dandruff and that gets worse from the stress. I have trouble sleeping, and I have trouble being bored / alone because that is when I’m worse for self diagnosing. It honestly makes you so depressed because you always feel ill or like you should be, or that you need to check all the time to make sure your not.

So this is just a little rant about my struggles, which took my mind off it for a little while. But I just feel like everyone should be more aware of how it is actually a serious problem that has real side effects and is not just something for people to laugh at.


Why Amazon Originals are Killin’ it.

So Amazon Prime is Amazon’s online streaming service that works very similar to that of Netflix, however you get access too music and one day delivery services on certain products. Also heads up if you’re a fellow student like me, you’ll get 6 months free. But that’s enough off all that boring stuff, I’m not promoting them. However I am very excited about the amazing Amazon Original T.V. Shows they have to offer.

Much like Netflix, Amazon have there own productions, and they have everyone very excited. The first one I watched, and arguably the most renowned / prestigious is Mr Robot. This show is simply incredible. It’s a very unique story that deals with a lot of sensitive issues that are hidden underneath the blatant attack at capitalist driven society. The show deals with addiction, loneliness, loss and mental health in a very intimate study of the lead Elliot. I seriously recommend this one as very refreshing, and not like anything else I have seen before.

I have also recently just started watching The Man in the High Castle, a book adaptation of what the world would be like if the Nazi’s won the war. A dystopian, yet set up to look like a historical drama it is again a very refreshing show unlike anything I have seen. It is going to be interesting to see how the different character arcs develop, and I can’t wait to watch more.However if you’re not into the heavy drama / thrillers there are more easy watching shows like Mozart in the Jungle and Red Oaks. They are both equally good, light hearted shows with lovable characters.

Now this is most definitely not a paid promotion of the service, I’m just genuinely surprised with the originality and diversity of the Amazon original shows which you can access via the Amazon Prime services. So yeah, if ya fancy something different I’d give it a shot. (6 months free for students,  1 month free if not)


Standing out in a world that is all the same.

Hello again guys, it’s been a hell of a long time. I wasn’t even sure if I was ever going to  start blogging again, but I have had a sudden surge of inspiration and free time from Uni work, so I’m here to give this another shot.

20160319_205134So the other day my brother was joking with me and said, “your hair makes you stand out too much… why do you want to do that”. Now I know that he was messing with me but I could tell by his expression that he just didn’t understand, and it bothers me. We live in a society where every single person feels the
need to look like everyone else, to fit in too make themselves the most ‘attractive’. This sort of mentality is one that I just can’t go with, or understand.

However, I won’t lie to you – there have been moments where I am purposely look at things because I think that’s what others find attractive. BUT I stop myself, because it is NOT what makes me happy, therefore how can you look good in something you are not comfortable in?

My confidence and personality comes out when I let myself fully embrace that I’m different, and that’s a good thing. Now I’m pretty certain that I look more attractive when I’m happy within myself, and if that gets attention then so be it! I’m no longer scared of people looking at me funny, because deep down I know that they most likely wish they had the confidence to wear what they wanted too to.

And with that in mind, I’m finally going to be making a comeback! I’m going to blog about whatever I feel like, and not be worried about what people think! I used to love doing OOTD and fashion posts, so I may go back to those roots, who knows! I just know that I want to inspire people to be themselves and embrace it, and this is a good way to start.

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Why going through Phases is OK

Oh the age old concept that all you do it go through ‘phases’ and that they don’t amount to anything just because you don’t constantly stay in one. Let me tell you now, all those phases that you go through all come together to make us the people we are today. We still carry aspects of all those phases with us, and without them we would be completely boring. So why is the concept of it so stigmatised?

Now I will willingly say now that in my 19 years I have been through a lot of phases, however what you have to keep in mind is that what to you is a phase to someone else is a lifestyle. So I’m just putting that lil disclaimer there so that I don’t offend anyone.

So I’ve been the emo kid, the scene kid, the bloody ‘indie’ girl. You name it, I’ve probably been apart of it. But each lifestyle introduced a world of things to me, one most importantly being music. I am still as bigger BMTH fan as I am of The Arctic Monkeys, and I ADORE that because at least it gives me diversity. I’ve adapted my style, and pull together all aspects of my past I can look like a typical grunge kid with ripped jeans and a band tee, to then looking like a preppy girly girl in a pinafore dress and cute shirt.

I think what I’m trying to say is that you should not be ashamed of your past, and to say you have experimented, and that even in adulthood you can still go through a phase and that doesn’t matter! It all just makes you who you are as a character and makes you more diverse, and that is never a bad thing.